“Tell me how someone could make New Year resolutions four months ago? Avram asked, “that is why everyone is talking about New Year resolutions and you can’t unpick your teeth.”
If I didn’t love Avram, I would call her a name but one of my resolutions is to be more appreciative of key people in my life and Avram unlocks the doors to my self (not myself, please). She is ‘top ranking’ in my life. Therefore rather than rename her, I posed a question.
“Before marrying wouldn’t you get to know your partner see how he fits into your life, test your compatibility?” She was nodding her head continuously, like the energiser bunny, as I spoke but, of course, she knows my thoughts before I mouth them.
My argument is, if you are making plans that will redirect your life or provide a road map for your future that exercise is too important not to include some preparatory work. Every August, my birth month, I prepare and I become very introspective.
There are questions, questions. Am I doing what I love or what I think society or my inner circle expects me to do, workwise, on the domestic front, at church, at play? Am I been pulled too far away from my centre by these external forces? Are my friends really friends? Do I treat them like friends? Why do I go to church, why not watch tele-evangelists with a bowl of soup in the comfort of my home on the couch? Questions, questions.
I am very moody, pissed off and happy at various points in this period. Avram, on the other hand is even-tempered and predictable because this throws her into her briar patch playing her favourite role, Devil’s Advocate.
She laughs at me regularly calling me a grumpy old woman and in contrast quotes Shakespeare in reference to herself: “Age cannot wither (me), nor custom stale (my) infinite variety …” Despite her rudeness, without Avram, I cannot do my self-assessment nor plot my way forward. Her role is pivotal and she knows it.
I usually spend the days leading up to December 31, trying out my new path; tweaking the ‘projects’. For example, I have recognised this year the need to do a public speaking course in order to achieve one of my more important goals.
The “pipe dreams” are divided into realistic and manageable projects and along the way I check my progress, evaluate and make adjustments. On the first day of the year, I am therefore ready with plans that have a high chance of success; that fit my growing skin, yet have not lost their excitement or cause me to lose my sense of adventure.
Arvam laughs and says I intellectualise too many things. In any case, she thinks that New Year resolutions are about planning and that sucks the life out of spontaneity. It prevents me from living life to the fullest, she says. Now she is tempting me to read Antony and Cleopatra rather than spend the next half an hour reading French, as I have resolved to do.
“Come on live life to the fullest; learn from Cleopatra, if you want a man for the New Year,” she goads me and recites:
Enobarbus in Shakespeare’s Antony and Cleopatra
“How can you live life to the fullest, if you are not spontaneous, Marva?” Avram asks.
To me, the two are not mutually exclusive, what do you think? Please tell me in the comment section below.
- on new year’s resolutions (jesscy.wordpress.com)