Tribute to Doverock: another Moses in the ultimate Promised Land.

Today Daily Prompt says: write your own eulogy. Here is mine.

Eulogy to Doverock

Good morning mourners, I am getting more ‘Goodbyes’ today than I’ve ever had”hellos”. That speaks volumes to the networks of my friends whom, I  believe, most of you are here to support.

My non-cyber space friends were few, three to be exact. I hid behind my computer, an anti-social blogger, writing posts hoping to cheer up the world, to make the world think and to make the world act. At times, I sought to educate or integrate; other times, I aimed to entertain or simply agitate.

My soul mate Caribbeanmarvel, often described me as an enigma; someone antisocial yet pro-social and expansive. But I did not see myself in descriptive terms. I was not an adjective rather I was a Caribbean woman on a mission, a modern day Moses leading thousands of followers  along the virtual timeless, borderless communication route towards the promised global village but unlike the Biblical Moses, my followers were not of one race or from one place.

English: Moses Sees the Promised Land from Afa...

English: Moses Sees the Promised Land from Afar, as in Numbers 27:12, by James Tissot (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I attracted and sought after people from all classes, nationalities, cultures, races, creed and sexual orientation. With my blog as my staff, this modern day Moses shared perspectives among my diverse group of followers, parting the sea of ignorance, freeing those enslaved by discrimination and ridding the world of pockets of bigotry.

I was not always liked or respected. Some people sampled my offerings and left without a comment not even to briefly acknowledge that they’d liked  or dislike what I had provided. Caribbeanmarvel, the describer, was always calling me a tenacious character; and would remark on my ability not to be thrown off by a man or woman’s fickle behaviour or disagreements over my ideas and methods.

Let me give you an example. Once I took a break, to read and research, so I could be better at my task but some people found a replacement. They said they had another hero. They went on to like someone else, in fact to worship someone who was freshly pressed, she was gold minted. But I forgave them and welcomed them back.

A friend said to me, “You are a sucker for punishment; and to think you are not paid for this job. All bloggers are egomaniacs, though and you are the chief among them.”

So mourners, this journey of blogging to a better tomorrow is a hard one with no thanks. I believed that by getting to know each other through blogs and other social media, we will lead others to the promised land of a globalised world, where mankind equitably share all the earth’s fruits.

I have gone to another place, but I hope you will draw from my experiences. To help you, I’ve summarised ten simple rules that helped me. Store them on your iPad, or any tablet of your choice.

Image representing iPad as depicted in CrunchBase

Image via CrunchBase

  1. Remember that as a blogger you are both a follower and a leader. No other positions are more important than these.
  2. Do not believe that your opinions are supreme. No one has all the answers, no one is always right.
  3. Do not misuse anyone’s intellectual property.
  4. Take time off from your blog- to read, research and explore.
  5. Honour fellow-bloggers and visitors to your site. Reply to their comments and say ‘thank you’. By doing so, others will respect you and your days as a blogger will be rewarded.
  6. Be honest in your criticisms though sensitive enough not to kill another blogger’s spirit.
  7. Be faithful to those who you follow and your followers. Visit their blogs, comment on their posts. Don’t ignore them for months while you enjoy yourself with other bloggers. Provide good quality, well edited posts for your followers.
  8. Do not steal other people’s posts; re-blog, if permitted.
  9. Do not purposely misquote numbers, facts, and figures.
  10. Do not covet your fellow blogger’s freshly pressed award; his or her trifecta winner’s logo or any other blog challenge trophy ; his or her sense of humour or turn of phrase.

Your beloved departed is resting in peace and will rise in glory, Amen!

P.S. written for Daily Prompt: Dearly Departed.

Can’t toot my blog horn, ‘till it gets a hate button

“Why do you blog?” Avram asked. “Is it because you’re out-of work, you’re a rejected journalist?’

That got me pissed so I let my temper fly. I ranted:  “Blogging is better than journalism, if you subtract the monetary gain. Toot. Toot, it gives a horn to toot even if you don’t want to toot it for me.”

A hunting horn in Eb with a Bb stopping ventil...

A hunting horn in Eb with a Bb stopping ventil/ Cor de chasse en Mi bémol (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

People from Panama, Vietnam, de North Pole,  de South Pole, people that never know I cud write a sentence when I did a journalist, read me.“Numba two, no blog readers doan search for my phone numba and call me cursing me stink, stink; telling me ‘bout my muddah, doan mine they never see she.

“Numba 3, business people and politicans doan call my boss and say I should write ‘xyz’ like they in my mind or is my intellect.  Nobody doan fume to higher-ups: ‘I am pulling my ads because she wrote such and such…’ Nothing so, buddy!

“It add up to I get likes from readers, I is a boss analyst, a boss writer, a boss story teller. I don’t get no hate,” I tooted.

“Likes? What likes you talking bout you does get muff hates,” Avram said. She started she own rant:

“I check out your site and muff people visit but the foolishness you write left dem speechless, you doan see they doan say a word in the ‘leave a comment’ slot. More to besides one day 47 people visit you and only one click ‘like’ dat is 46 or more than 99 per cent that hate the dribble you write.”

That one floored me, I failing as a blogger, so I try to comfort myself by boasting that I getting traffic cause most of the tings the WordPress people say about increasing traffic I have covered.

“Covered what?’ Avram said “you minding dem wordpress people and ‘blog-napping’ people by hooking your blog to their Facebook accounts. Traffic? They ain’t even reading you if not your followers would equal or be more than your Facebook friends.

“And when it get to following de Daily Prompt, half of them outside your league, you can’t respond. Like today, they tell you to “toot your horn” what horn? Horn about likes? Horn about traffic? Your horn hoarse, girl! De only horn you ever had is a Bajan horn. Ha! Ha!”

(In Barbados, a person gets a horn if his or her partner is unfaithful. In Bajan parlance, we say: Mary put a horn in Tom. Translate: Mary was unfaithful to Tom. Vincentians use butt instead of horn.)

Horn Luggers

Horn Luggers (Photo credit: Randy Son Of Robert)

Say No To Heaven?

london fireworksDSC_0456Tick, tick … the signal of a dawning New Year and there I was on my knees asking God to forgive my sins, those of omission and those by my own commission. No fireworks, no champagne, just natural light, as we prayed with artificial lights off in the few minutes of 2012. Was I where I wanted to be? Was this the best place for me?

Why not heaven? For if my Christian values determined that church was the ideal place to say goodbye to the old year and the old me and to greet the New Year and the new me, why not heaven? Isn’t that the destination hoped for by those on their knees in the dying moments of 2012?

Why not London?

Now that was show! Fireworks and all! But after five minutes, I was bored. Watching people waste so much money while thousands starve in Haiti or are exposed to disease isn’t my style.

I wanted to be on earth and on my knees, not in heaven if I had a choice. I understand earth, it is my comfort zone and please forgive me but heaven currently seems a boring place.  Sipping milk and honey all day; listening to angels playing flutes as I lie next to  lions too tame to show off their ferocious trademark roar, not my style; not where I want to start 2013.

Surrounded by uninterrupted natural beauty with no contrasting ugliness to help me appreciate the loveliness of the lovely seems to me like swimming in a pool of my favourite chocolate or living forever with perfect people whose dreams are always fulfilled without an iota of work. No challenges, how would I cope? Me, an earthling?

My world is painful, sometimes too painful, too inequitable but there is also joy and the in-between, which we call normal. My world is a mixture of haters, lovers; non-achievers, highflyers; perpetual dreamers, doers; adding the spice that makes variety normal. So here on my side of the fence, heaven seem abnormal, unreal.

But I believe in God and love his eternal peace more than the devil and his constant rage. So I sat in church praying to be a better person, one worthy of being in God’s presence, yet not wanting to see His face, right now. Working toward heaven yet holding on here as tight I can though I know the grip is not mine. Sounds confused. Well, the Jehovah Witnesses tell me that if I don’t belong to the 144 000 that will rule, I may stay on earth; so perhaps here is my place. Why believe them, I dismiss most of their teaching.

Anyways, I was in church; no better place to be when the clock chimed 12 a.m. on January 1. My alter ego injected my thoughts as usual, and accusingly as well. “If it wasn’t for the recession, you would’ve pay Bds. $999.00 (US$500) to watch fireworks with a half-dry throat at The Cliff but after enjoying the spiritual food, the church folk have provided earthly food, drink and socialising in the car park, so you opted for the cheap route, the affordable choice,” she said.

Logical but invalid! The recession premise is faulty,church does not come with a price tag, unless you unwisely count your collection. Can’t say exactly how much I gave. It was the never-had-a-husband mite.

But I agree what a great place to be at the dawn of a New Year … at church communing with – I assume- likeminded people. Heaven? Some day but not now.

(Postscript: do you too have struggles? Or, are you anxious to get to heaven and wish you were there now? Please, answer me below)